My name is Nicki Pike, and I am a mortgage broker with The Mortgage Group. I want to share my personal experience of separation and divorce and how the concept of Separation Superheroes came to be.

As a mortgage broker, I work closely with many professionals to make sure my clients have a smooth and simple experience from start to finish. Whether they are buying, building, refinancing, or renewing, I put them in touch with the experts they need. I always make sure to find out my client’s needs and refer them to lawyer, realtor, financial planner, life insurance specialist, handyman, contractor, or any other expert who can assist them.

While I’d worked with people going through a divorce, I didn’t know what it actually felt like until I went through my own separation. After being married for seventeen years and having a daughter,  I realized I was not happy. We had grown so far apart that in my mind, I didn’t know how to come back together. I went into the separation process thinking it would be quite simple. I could not have been more wrong. My experience had lead to my favorite saying about dealing with people going through a separation or divorce: "it’s amicable until it’s not amicable".

I knew my first step was to buy a new place. Since I worked with people buying new houses every day, I thought it would be no problem. I was shocked when I discovered that I didn’t qualify on my own because I was still a partial owner of the matrimonial home. Then I thought, now what am I going to do?

Well, to put it simply... I fell apart. I didn’t know what to do. On one side, the legal separation had started and my life had been narrowed down to assets and debts, numbers and negotiations, with my daughter right in the middle of it. On the other side were emotions, so many emotions. I was not prepared for any of this. I questioned everything. I doubted myself. How did this happen?

Once I was referred to a great lawyer, things started to make sense again. Legal advice is so important early on in the separation process. With the help of my lawyer’s advice and my own background in the mortgage industry, I was able to buy a house. Things were looking up!

However, once I moved in, the emotional aspect of the separation became all too real again. I was lucky that I had a strong network of friends. One night over wine, one of those amazing friends, Brandi Pierik, sat across from me in my new kitchen and as she watched me cry (again . . .). This is when the idea of Separation Superheroes was born.

I’ll never forget how Brandi looked at me and asked how someone like me who was strong and independent and had all the connections was not navigating things better. Her supportive but to-the-point question inspired me to reflect: how had this happened? To me? I was strong and independent, to a fault. My answer? I said because I didn’t know who to call.

Even though I knew numerous lawyers realtors and so many other professionals with expertise that was applicable to separation, I FELT like I had no one to call. It’s easy to become too overwhelmed to know where to start, or too used to being independent to look for assistance.

Brandi and I decided then and there that we didn’t want anyone else to feel as lost and alone as I had. It’s just not necessary when there are people out there with the knowledge and experience to help you navigate through a difficult situation like divorce. The most important thing I learned from my own separation is that it is okay to rely on those professionals, and to this day I am so grateful to have had each and every one of them.

At Separation Superheroes, we put you in touch with local professionals who are experts in the emotional, legal, and financial aspects of separation and divorce. Does it make it all better? The answer is no. Divorce is still an extremely emotional and difficult experience. However, there is comfort in knowing you have people who care and have the skill and knowledge to guide you and do what is best for you. I found it helpful to be able to rely on professionals who could suggest options based on their experience rather than emotions. I could trust what they were telling me over my own emotions, I had to. And I am grateful I did.

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